My research for my Roy Grace novels has led to my developing some great relationships with a number of Sussex Police officersw, and they frequently tell me stories about incidents they have been involved with. I thought I would share this one with you, which was emailed to me yesterday by a young undercover officer, and really made me chuckle.
“Had the day off and ended up going to a Halloween party late Saturday night, dressed in a kilt, a BRIGHT red flouncy silk fencing shirt, and had my face painted up like a zombie with some rather realistic stage blood all down my face.
So imagine the surprise two 16 year old moped thieves got at 5 in the morning when on my way home, as I staggered up a road (rather tipsy), I lurched out of the darkness and flattened one of them!
His mate took one look, squealed and ran away, and I arrested my prey for attempt theft!
He asked some very pertinent questions though, such as:
“Why are you wearing a skirt?”
“Is that real blood?”
And my absolute favourite:
Thief: “I’ll bet this is one of those trap scooters, innit?”
Me: “Mate, if this was a trap scooter, would I be dressed like a fucking zombie?””