Someone once likened being an author to being a mushroom. That we spend most of our lives in the dark, and occasionally someone opens the door of our shed and shovels shit over us.... Well - a few days ago was different!

On one of the coldest days of the year, a freezing February morning, I rose at 4.30 and made my way to Shoreham Harbour, one of the two commercial sea ports bordering Brighton, to join the crew of the dredger, the Arco Dee, on which a friend, Tim Moore, is the chief engineer, and to spend a day at sea with them.

Action Man getting dirty!

Arco Dee at work

With Captain Ray Marshall and Chief Engineer Tim Moore
- spot the phoney sailor!

I'm sure those of you who have read this far are thinking, after a big yawn, how great can a dredger be? Well... I thought that too before my day with the crew, and it was something of a revelation for me. I got out of it the kind of Eureka moment that happens, on rare, precious moments, when I am in the process of starting a new novel. To reveal more would of course be to reveal too much of the story of Dead Tomorrow, the new Roy Grace novel I am now, as of today, 65 pages into and counting, Houston...

I thought that all dredgers did was to dredge mud out of the harbour mouths, to keep the shipping channels deep enough. But I've now learned that is only one role of dredging. Another job, far bigger in terms of commercial enterprise, is excavating sand and pebbles from the seabed for use in the construction industry. Some pebbles go for driveways and garden decorations, but the majority of what is hauled up ends up being used in the aggregates business for such items as concrete, cement, asphalt and tarmac.

Arco Dee with full cargo

Chart of the underwater quarry

It is literally underwater quarrying, on land leased from the UK government, and as strictly marked out as any farmland (see chart above). And there is a real magic about seeing the cargo hold fill with stuff from the ocean floor that has lain for hundreds of thousands, and maybe millions of years. Occasionally they haul up historical artefacts, such as canon balls or bits of Second World War aircraft - and even more occasionally - as I had been hoping, naturally, for my story, a dead body...

Tim Moore, the Chief Engineer told me some years ago of the time a dredger hauled up an unexploded bomb, wedged in its drag-head (see below). As the Bomb Disposal Unit clambered on board, they tried to move it, whereupon it dropped on the deck then bounced into the hold! Tim said that to his astonishment, the first thing the Bomb Disposal guys did was to climb down after it and start hitting it with a hammer. By which point the rest of the ship's crew were busy lowering the lifeboat and writing farewell letters to their loved ones...

The unexploded bomb

I've a great love of the sea -- and respect for it - and have sailed a lot, but not all my experiences have been trouble free. My most embarrassing moment was when I was eighteen years old and a school Naval Cadet, and head of the Charterhouse School Naval Corps. We had been invited for a day's sailing on a Frigate in Portmouth Harbour, and I was asked if I would like to take the helm as we were approaching the harbour mouth. It was a massive honour and I was nervous as hell. Too nervous. I was suddenly informed, by a voice down the speaker system, that the Admiral Of The Fleet's destroyer was heading into the harbour and I was given the instruction "Starboard Fifteen." I dutifully gave the correct reply, 'Starboard fifteen, SIR" turned the wheel, and then reported, 'Fifteen of the starboard wheel on, SIR!"

Whereupon the ship, instead of turning towards the right, turned towards the left, right into the path of the Admiral's ship. In my excitement at getting my replies correct, I had inadvertently turned the wheel to the left, causing the Admiral's ship to have to alter course. I then had the privilege of speaking to the great man in person, over the radio. Or rather, listening to him... he had a repertoire of swear words that to this day, forty years later, I have not heard equalled.

So of course, it was great to be able to utilize my extensive naval terminology on the dredger. The most important one of all, I learned long ago, is the one for a snack. And it came in handy as the brilliant chef of the Arco Dee, Sam Janes, does a mean line in fruit scones. You have to ask for a tabnab. In the immortal words of landlubber Michael Cain, not a lot of people know that.

Sunday, February 03, 2008
A Boy's Own Adventure In Munich

My love affair with Munich just got even more passionate this week, after the launch of the German edition Not Dead Enough (Nicht Tot Genug), part of which is set in Munich. To my delight, Nicht Tot Genug went straight into the Spiegel bestseller list at No 21 joining the paperback of Looking Good Dead (Stirb Schön) which is currently No 7 there.

I had been getting hints from my publishers for some weeks that my friends in the LKA had a big surprise for me, but they stubbornly refused to tell me what it was... The LKA (Landeskriminalamnt) is the German equivalent to the FBI. Once a year they host a reading by a crime writer in their Munich Headquarters, in their very atmospheric indoor shooting range. I guess the idea being that if they don't like what the author is reading they can pump a few bullets into him or her... This year they chose me as the author and the event was used to launch the annual Munich Krimifest -- run by Andy and Sabine Thomas - which is absolutely my favourite festival in my whole crime writing calendar.

I do all my German readings with the incredibly talented "Greatest Living German Actor" Hans-Jürgen Stockerl -- we alternate, reading chapters in German and in English, and then do Q&A in both languages. He also does the German audio versions of my books.

Inside the firing range, with German actor Hans Jürgen Stockerl

Last year the LKA team, who have been incredibly friendly to me during the past few years and who have been extremely helpful in my research, had given me an amazing surprise at last year's Krimifestival, when under the pretext of inviting Helen and I out to dinner, they collected us in a marked car from the hotel, whisked us away with the lights ablaze and siren wailing, and proceeded to give us a brilliant white knuckle tour of Munich like no other I've ever had! (As an aside, one thing all the police officers around the world who I have ever met, male and female, have in common, is that they all, without exception passionately love driving under the emergency lights and siren. And I confess, I come totally clean on this, being in a police car travelling at high speed is a fantastic thrill -- better than any funfair ride by far!)

PJ being whisked around Munich in a marked car

Prime Minister's bodyguard at the wheel.

This shows the thickness of the bullet proof glass

PJ cleaning up the streets of Munich!

There was an amusing postcript to this. Apparently as we drove off, the hotel manager came running out after us, thinking we had been arrested, and weren't going to pay the bill!!!

So you can imagine I was wondering how the LKA were going to top last year. Well... they did! They sent the Bavarian Prime Minister's personal armoured car, a bullet proof BMW 7 series, together with his personal driver and bodyguard, Kriminal Hauptkommissar Joachim Huber, (pictured) to give us an even swifter ride than last year around Munich, including a visit to the private quarters inside the parliament building, then, a lesson in defensive driving (and some great tips about how to nudge a car off the road -- something that will be very useful in my next motor race!) Then, joy of joys (!) they let me loose in the gun room!!!!!

PJ protecting Helen

OO James. With an authentic James Bond Walther PPK.
Ready to help the LKA with the arrest!

The French Resistance gun

The pictures show me with a Mauser, then the classic Walther PPK as used by James Bond. Then a very strange and primitive pistol, which used to be supplied to the French resistance during the War and is called, appropriately, "The Liberator".

And... there was one further highlight yet to come... the LKA team informed me that on a routine screening of the guest list of 150 people, for security purposes, they discovered that two names on the list were on the Munich police wanted list! After further enquiries, one was eliminated, as just having the same name as a wanted person, but the other was for real. So, a team stood on guard at the entrance ready to arrest him -- and I was all set for dramatic action, (although I did ask them if they would allow him to buy a book before they clapped on the handcuffs...!), but sadly the man never showed up. Clearly he wised up at the last minute to the fact that it is not too smart for a wanted felon to turn up to the LKA headquarters. Shame though, it would have made for a good debate - when does a book signing become a crime scene.....?

When does a PJ book launch become a crime scene?

posted by Peter James at 3:44 AM 10 comments