Peter James: Novelist and Film Producer: Moped Thief

Peter's blog

Friday, November 09, 2007
Moped Thief

My research for my Roy Grace novels has led to my developing some great relationships with a number of Sussex Police officersw, and they frequently tell me stories about incidents they have been involved with. I thought I would share this one with you, which was emailed to me yesterday by a young undercover officer, and really made me chuckle.

"Had the day off and ended up going to a Halloween party late Saturday night, dressed in a kilt, a BRIGHT red flouncy silk fencing shirt, and had my face painted up like a zombie with some rather realistic stage blood all down my face.

So imagine the surprise two 16 year old moped thieves got at 5 in the morning when on my way home, as I staggered up a road (rather tipsy), I lurched out of the darkness and flattened one of them!

His mate took one look, squealed and ran away, and I arrested my prey for attempt theft!
He asked some very pertinent questions though, such as:
"Why are you wearing a skirt?"
"Is that real blood?"
And my absolute favourite:
Thief: "I'll bet this is one of those trap scooters, innit?"
Me: "Mate, if this was a trap scooter, would I be dressed like a fucking zombie?""

posted by Peter James at 1:34 PM 6 comments

Comments:

Truly a case of the truth being stranger than fiction! I bet that if you included that in a novel everyone would say 'yeah, right!'
- Having had our local traffic 'bobbies' borrow my car when they have apprehended people under a warrant & then been faced with the problem of how to transport dogs which have been in the alleged 'criminals' cars, I know that things like this are indeed, believable!
PS: Being an avid watcher of your blogs, I wasn't going to comment but everyone else seems to have disappeared into 'waiting for someone else' mode! Sorry if you are getting fed up with me!!

By Anonymous, at 6:26 PM

Sorry, as usual, I hit the 'submit' button too soon!
Traffic bobbies use my car to transport the dogs as I have purpose built cages in the back of my estate car (and as I expect most people know, the traffic police have to 'invite' people into the back of their cars, so it would not be good news for the seat to be covered in dog hairs!).
I'm not sure why everyone else seems to have gone very quiet on comments, but hopefully they will now re-appear out of the woodwork!
Bonnie

By Anonymous, at 6:32 PM

Hi Bonnie

Thanks for this - interesting that you are able to add "suspect criminal dog transporter" to your CV!!!!

Yes, where has everyone gone???

I imagine things will liven up at the end of next week, when the paperback of Not Dead Enough comes out...

all best

Peter

By Peter James, at 8:22 PM

Thankfully, I didn't transport the suspects dogs - traffic police came down, drove my car away (with STRICT instructions from me NOT to speed!) and then brought my car back, complete with dog to be held until owner was released or whatever!
When they returned, they queried what sort of engine it had, as they couldn't believe it was a diesel (sorry, it had souped up engine!).
I did ask them that if they caught me speeding, could I use the phrase that they uttered 'we didn't realise it would go so fast so quickly!'
Sadly, these officers are no longer in traffic locally!

I checked the Amazon site the other day for Not Dead Enough reviews - me thinks that some of these 'reviewers' are either jealous authors or disgruntled publishers!
Very much looking forward to the next book in the Roy Grace series - next year does seem a long way away though!
By the way, an Hungarian puli, James and Elizabeth Williams, from Glasgow's Ch Rockisland Rocks On The Road, was Reserve Best in Show at a Championship show in Edinburgh the other weekend!I know it is a breed that you love!
Bonnie

By Anonymous, at 9:13 PM

WEll, i think that the officer involved was heroic, brave, courageous, and hopefully wearing underwear........

By Paul, at 9:39 PM

He was definitely brave, incredibly handsome, totally heroic and I am assured had his undercarriage retracted.....

By Peter James, at 6:33 PM