Peter James: Novelist and Film Producer: Oh, The Embarrassment

Peter's blog

Friday, February 23, 2007
Oh, The Embarrassment

We all have those moments when we really would like the ground to open up and disappear us whole! Well, I do, at any rate, with alarming frequency...

My latest was earlier this month in Paris, where I had gone to receive my award, Le Prix Coeur Noir. I was staying at the Plaza Athénée - one of the very best hotels I've ever stayed in. I liked it even more than the equally eye-wateringly expensive George V Four Seasons, because it feels more French, more Parisienne, whereas the Four Seasons, although wonderful, and very, very sharp, feels quite international.

Helen had given me a hand-held GPRS for Christmas, for use on my bike in London, and when in unfamiliar cities. So I decided to try it out in Paris, setting the hotel as my "home", I went off for my morning jog. When I was about two miles away, I pressed the "home" button, to see if it would guide me back OK. Because of the heavy morning rush hour traffic I turned the volume on the machine up to max, then zipped it into my tracksuit pocket.

It worked brilliantly, shouting instructions to me every few minutes and delivered me back to the hotel's front door. I entered the lobby and then the incredibly smart "salon" - a long, beautifully ornate room, lined with tables on either side, at which equally beautiful, ornate Parisiennes were having their breakfasts. I was halfway down the room when a voice from my pocket shouted out, loud enough to silence the entire salon: "MAKE A U-TURN"

As I desperately fumbled with the zip, which, typically, had now jammed, the infernal machine bellowed out: "IN ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YARDS TURN LEFT."

I now know what the French for "wanker" is. They don't even speak it, they just say it with their eyes...

posted by Peter James at 4:52 AM 7 comments

Comments:

I'd comment but I can't stop laughing long enough to type properly!
The French have a sense of humour don't they? I'm sure they do :)

By Jo, at 7:05 AM

Hi Jo

The French do indeed have a sense of humour. It is called "Le British"!!!

Best

Peter

By Peter James, at 8:16 AM

Well they should be very grateful then!

By Jo, at 8:56 AM

Branleur I think is the "French" word you are looking for Peter and I am sure it could never be applied to you!!!

By Anonymous, at 10:11 AM

Hi Peter James,
I hope you remember me. Your best fan. Rhoda Pelliccia, from the U.S. I have read every book you wrote and I have emailed you before. Just finished reading "Looking Good Dead" after "Dead Simple". I have to order them from Amazon U.K. It costs me double but it is worth it. I just love your books. Now, for the next question, When is your next book coming out? I love both of your writings. The occult and now the Det. Roy Grace books. My husband is a bigger fan than I. You beat John Saul and Dean Koontz. Can't wait for the next one.
Your fan,
Rhoda Pelliccia

By Rhoda Pelliccia, at 4:23 AM

Hi Rhoda

Wow! Thank you sooooooo much for such incredibly high praise and such lovel, warm words - and thanks to your husband, too!

My next Roy Grace novel, "Not Dead Enough" is being published in the UK on June 1st. Will keep fingers crossed that you enjoy it as much.

All very best

Peter

By Peter James, at 10:26 AM

Hi Peter,

I'd like to echo Rhoda's comments in terms of your books, excellent stuff! I've always been into King and Herberts books since I was 13 years old, now 22. I found one of your books while on holiday in Portugal last year, "Dead Simple", the previous person in the villa had left it behind, I read it and was hooked, I then ordered the next once home and cannot wait for June to come along so "Not Dead Enough" will be out!

Anyway, I can relate to such Satellite Navigation problems, it usually involves me ending up on the wrong motorway though.

Kind regards!

Andy

By Andy, at 6:49 PM